Samantha Alison Faith Edmund

Another Chapter

2008-06-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

The first year was the roughest time of my life. Paige had left to Yale, my mom was really weak going through chemotherapy, and Jake was gone. We faithfully wrote each other once a month but it was still really challenging for me to keep trucking on. It was really hard on the anniversary of Anna and McKenzie's death. Emily was in kindergarten also and it was hard keeping up with her homework with her. I had a part time job at the local Wal Mart but I was also going to school to become a nurse.
I felt like I was never going to get anywhere. I felt like a mother taking care of her children and her sickly mother. I couldn't handle school. I was going to drop out. I needed more money and had no idea how I was going to get it. Jake wasn't writing me that much and I was getting depressed. Paige was so busy at school and doing extracurriculars that I had no idea who I could talk to. My mom was leaving me and I didn't know what would happen to Emily. So much worry for such a young 20 year old person. I got home that day to check the mail. I HAD A LETTER FROM JAKE!!!!

Dear Love,
I'm sorry I haven't been writing you. I have been very busy with a family who are really wondering about the gospel and I'm pretty sure they are going to get baptized. It's really hard in these harsh temperatures. It's really hot and it seems like I'm always outside here in Africa. However, I know Heavenly Father will get me through this okay. I found this poem that is simple and sweet and I hope you will remember it

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in it's womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

Sheelagh Lennon

I love you sweetheart. I have a year and I count down the days. I want you to know that it's making it really hard on me to stay here while you are all the way across the world. This will be the last letter I write to you and I hope you will do the same. I love you so much and don't lose trust in me. In about 10 months I will write you and we can talk about my homecoming. Don't worry about me I'm trying to make this better for everyone. You are wonderful and take care of everyone there. Talk to my parents if you ever need any comfort from me.

Love Always,

Jake

I felt like my heart was going to burst. This couldn't be happening. We promised to write every week and now I was going to be stuck without him. I wasn't going to cope with him let alone without him...
When I got home I had just enough time to make some chocolate chip cookies before Emily got home. Hopefully those would make me feel better and I could put on a happy face for tonight. Emily got home as the timer beeped. We ate them (all) warm and then got in routine. She did her homework, occasionally asking question as I prepared dinner. Then we went and met Mother outside when she got dropped off from being at the hospital.
We ate dinner with the now and then conversation and laughs. We (Emily and I) would then do the dishes and put up dinner while Mother watched with sorry eyes. Emily then had her free time to watch television while I helped Mother clean up and get in her bed. Then onto Emily. Once I got her in bed I had time to do my homework. I noticed I was a little ahead of schedule, it was 8:00 instead of 8:30, so I decided to go on a short walk after making sure they were asleep.
It was a quiet walk which I really enjoyed. It was nice to get out and be able to think a little. I thought about the days events and how I was going to deal with Jake ditching me. I was really lucky he didn't break up with me and that he actually sent me a letter. Why was I making such a big deal out of it? I would see him in a little less than a year. At that thought I broke down and started to cry. I about jumped out of my pants when someone touched my back.

chapter 14

2008-04-20T17:46:00.001-07:00

I hopped into the car and went over to his house. He was packing up and so he finished up what he was doing and we went out to lunch. He told me he had a surprise for me. After lunch we went to our spot. He told me it was our final time seeing each other because his family was coming down before he left for the MTC. It brought tears to my eyes. I wouldn't see him for 2-3 years. I would be 21, then if I went on a mission. Well we would just have to see where my life takes me.
“I have a seed for you. Every year it will bloom and remind you of my love for you. It is your favorite flower, a daisy, and it is white, reminding us that we must be pure and stay focused on what our goals and dreams are for our life to come. Every time you take care of it hopefully you can feel my love for you grow in it's roots with you. If you will wait for me I will marry you when I get back. I absolutely love you and can't wait until I get back. I know that this is a mission I have to do though and it will make us a stronger family if I do this.”
“I also have a present for you and I hope you could carry this around with you. It's the size of a business card.”
It was a laminated card that was in a deep red saying 'I'll be loving you, always'.
He took me out to dinner then one last drive and upon request from me, back to our waterfall. We watched the stars for awhile and when it was time for us to leave, he gave me my first kiss. One that I would hold onto until he came back.

Chapter 13

2008-04-20T17:26:00.001-07:00

The next week was the funeral. The girls didn't look very pretty because it had been about 3 weeks since they had passed away but I kissed them and loved them and told everyone they were beautiful anyways. It's going to be really hard for me to not want to hold them in my arms. My mom was thankfully able to make it. The funeral was beautiful. I gave a talk on both of them and growing up with them and then my grandparents each talked. All of the children from Anna and McKenzie's classes came up and sang a sweet song about how we will remember them always and they will be in our heart. After that we had to say the final goodbye's and we took them to their burial sites. It was a really rough day but it was absolutely beautiful and I'm glad we were able to do that.
The next day was my mom's evaluation. Paige came with me to find out why my mom has been there so long.
“Well, we have been doing multiple cat scans and blood tests and we have found that she has cancer. We have a couple of options. We can start radiation and then move on to chemotherapy or we can do nothing and see if it goes away or let her pass away,” the doctor said.
“Well you just asked me the stupidest question. Of course we are going to go through with radiation and chemo...let's start tomorrow! Right now if we have to. I want to get my mom better!” I said probably too loudly.
“Well it's probably going to take a couple of months to get her in to the program. Would you like her to stay here in the hospital or go home?”
“OF COURSE I'M GOING TO HAVE HER COME HOME! AND WHY CAN'T SHE JUST START NOW I DON'T GET IT!”
“Calm down. Your mother is in the next room you can go get her and she can go home right now. I understand you are upset but there isn't really anything I can do to change this right now. I hope you have the best of times and your mother knows she has cancer. If you need anything I have an email address you can email me at and I will answer you as soon as possible. Good luck.”Walking out with my mother was refreshing and that night I tucked her in just like she used to do to me. She was really weak and frail looking. I really didn't like that. Jake stopped by and Paige, Jake, and I watched a Christmas show over some hot chocolate, even though it was July. It was a blast and at 1 o'clock they left and I went to bed and woke up to Emily screaming only 45 minutes later. She was having terrible flashbacks and I didn't know what I could do to help her. It hurt me to have to see her like that. She slept with me and we woke up at 7 to surprise our mom with some pancakes in bed and a warm bubble bath. Luckily, with that nice comfortable bed and warm house and a long nights sleep, she was able to get enough strength to walk around the house. With all this stress I forgot that there was only one week until Jake was leaving. SHOOT!

...

2008-04-20T15:17:00.001-07:00

The next couple of days I slept. I couldn't handle this stress and the only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that my mom and sister really needed me right now.
When I was released I stayed in Paige's guest house. My mom was still in the hospital. I started to really worry about her but the doctors said she was okay. Emily started going to preschool and I started spending a lot more time with Jake.
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I was sitting on my bed not knowing what in the heck I was going to wear. It was the first personal date I was going to go on with Jake and I wanted to look fabulous. I went with a cap sleeve red shirt and a pair of dark wash pants and some black flip flops (okay the shoes, tacky, but they are comfortable). At 5:30 like promised he came and picked me up and we went up to the waterfall, where one of our first dates were. That was our place. He had made us some sandwiches and a couple of brownies.
“I really want you to know how much I love you and I'm so glad that I made that first move. I didn't think we would make it this long but I'm really glad we have. I have a confession to make. I just started dating you to get to Paige. I know that was really shallow of me but after that first date I knew we were meant to stay together. Please don't leave me because I've just told you this. I just don't want any secrets between us. I love you Paige and I want you to be happy.” Jake told me.
“I would never leave you and I'm happy to hear that there is no secrets between us now”. I responded.
“Well then I would like to tell you something. I have been excepted into Harvard after I go to my mission. I'm leaving in 3 months. I promise that I will continue loving you if you could just keep doing that for me. I don't care if you date while I'm gone just as long as you come back to me and always write me. I'm absolutely in love with you and don't want anything to come between us. I'm going to England.”
“I'll be loving you always,” I responded.

Chapter 12 1/2

2008-04-18T13:45:00.000-07:00

This was too much to handle. I ran up to my little Rachel's room. Even though I haven't told about her much she was like my second Paige. I talked to her about EVERYTHING. She was my little guiding star with her bright and shining example. The doctor's told me I couldn't go in but I didn't listen. I pushed my way in and surprisingly I got passed them. Must be the adrenaline. Rachel was pale and I could tell she was slipping. I looked at her and told her I loved her and she said “I love you too” in her weak little voice. The doctors came in and said that I really needed to go get myself cleaned up but I wouldn't leave her side. At 2 in the morning she passed away. I finally let the doctors take me in and I found out I had broken my nose, cracked my skull, and had a broken ankle. I just wasn't able to feel anything because some of my nerves were damaged. I was unconscious for two days. When I woke up I found out that Mackenzie had passed away also. Her body wasn't able to handle the pain. Emily had internal bleeding and would have to be at the hospital for awhile. And Paige was with me the entire time. Nobody had any news on my mother. They wouldn't say.
Two weeks into my recovery and Jake came to check on me. He had been in New York on a business trip with his dad and he flew home as soon as he heard. They moved all of us girls, well what's left of us, into one room. Except for my mom. She had to stay in a different unit.
It was just Emily and me now. Our family would never be the same and I knew it was going to be tough times ahead of us.

Chapter 12

2008-03-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

Two years had passed. I was almost done with high school! One more week! Ryan and Paige had broken up because Ryan had cheated on Paige. She was heartbroken and I was her rock to lean on which I was glad to do. She had always let me cry on her shoulder. The past couple of years were way tough. My dad was a really bad drunk and he didn't come around that much. He was mostly sitting at the bar getting drunk. He didn't work anymore so my mom started a day care in our house. She really wanted to be home with her kids and so she decided that would be the best route. We had to sell her car so I had started riding with Paige to school again. My mom used my car to get the kids around and took them to the park and stuff. Our money was really tight so I started working again. I worked for Paige's family as a “maid”. Even though I was part of the family so they basically paid me an allowance. I got $100 a week if I cleaned the bathrooms and dusted and vacuumed everything. They even offered to buy our groceries but my mom denied.
I thought my life was pretty good. On the second to last day of school I came home to find my dad there. I went home and he was a bloody mess. I looked over and saw that my mom had a bunch of bruises and had a broken glass cup in her hand. She told me that I needed to go get my sisters in their rooms and drive away. I went up and they were all bloody also and were crying. I took them and we went downstairs. My dad pulled a gun out of his pocket and told all of us to go sit in the basement. We went down there and we were so scared. Emily and Mackenzie were crying and Rachel and Anna were just in shock. Everyone was a bloody mess so it just seemed appropriate for my dad to hurt me. He started hitting me and when my mom tried to defend me he hit her down and broke her ribs. Then I got a text from Paige. I usually call her when I get home....or at least text so she I'm sure she was getting worried. When I had my fair share of beatings, I secretly texted her back. I didn't get a response.

My world was spinning.
I hear a knock at the door.
My dad turns and starts firing shots.
The door breaks down.
My sister Mackenzie starts crying. So does Anna and Emily.
I look and see the cops running down.
My dad takes the gun and shoots himself in the head.
I can't see anything because I'm crying so hard.
Next thing I remember I'm in my mom's arms in the hospital waiting room and Paige is next to me.

Chapter ll

2008-02-20T12:17:00.001-08:00

He was in a REALLY good mood! He was really sad that he missed the girls though. He had brought us all home presents. Mine was a $50 certificate to the movie theater in town and Anna's was a new game for her DS. He also bought my mom a princess diamond ring set in silver and when she asked where he got all of his money he told us he had been putting a little bit of money out every month so that we could have these gifts (we later found out it was from a drug deal). After that he took us all out to the fanciest restaurant (besides Lambournes) so we could have a peaceful good dinner while the little girls were gone. He announced to us that since he was so good with his job and being a good example (I silently laughed and rolled my eyes at that one) he was getting a promotion. My mom was really excited for him. Anna and I exchanged glances then decided we'd better play along. When we were done my dad pulled out 4 tickets to New York's Broadway and told us he had already packed our bags and we were leaving that night. He also said he had planned for the grandparents to take the little ones so we could enjoy this fun trip. We had to drive clear across the country to get there! I told my dad we needed to go home to get some entertainment stuff so he let us and we were off.
We had a lot of fun and had tons of fun adventures. We got to go into the Statue of Liberty and see all of the fun tall buildings. The whole way though I was missing Jake and Paige but they told me they were doing fine and for me to have fun and not miss them. Anna had the best time of her life and everyone was really glad to see her that happy. We also met a couple of celebrities; Hannah Montana, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and Hilary Duff; and the President! Anna was crying when she met all those people. She told us it was the best time of her life. When we got home it had been 2 weeks but luckily we didn't miss that much school because it was part of April/May break.
When I got back it was really busy doing lots of catch up homework and getting ready for my end of level tests. And then school was out.

Chapter Ten

2008-02-18T11:53:00.000-08:00

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Life was going by so fast! I couldn't believe that it was already April. On the 24th it was Emily's first birthday so Paige came by to help me. Emily had just learned how to walk and was wobbling all over the house while Paige and I were making the cake, decorating, and putting together the table. My mom was out buying the pizza and picking up my sisters from pre-school and school. Her theme was Winnie the Pooh so she had a cute shaped Pooh Bear cake and had cute little plates. Then my grandparents came over and we set down and talked with them with some lemonade. “How is school”
“How's your dad”
“How's your siblings”
“Are you getting good grades, what are your lowest”
The usual. Then the aunts, uncles, and cousins started showing up and we moved outside. Everyone loved watching the little Emily trying to walk around. Then my mom showed up and everyone dived in for the pizza.
“Okay everyone we are now going to play a game. It's Emily favorite. Everyone get in a BIG circle, we are going to play Ring around the Rosie.” I explained.
Luckily everyone popped up and we had a fun time playing the game at least 15 times. Emily had the biggest smile the entire time and she was really happy to be there. Then we had a water fight with water guns and Emily got SOAKED! She was really happy and was a cute little sport about it. Next we played a game of hide and go seek (the adults stayed out for that one) and Paige and I supervised. Finally it was time for cake and ice-cream. Everyone got a hit out of the Winnie the Pooh cake and we had pink ice-cream just for Emily. After we were done with that Emily opened presents with the help of “maee” (mommy) and let me tell you she got SPOILED ROTTEN. She needs a whole nother room to keep all of her toys. When people started to file out we started cleaning stuff up Emily stood by the door thanking everyone for everything and gave out her slobbery kisses and big hugs. After that was done my grandparents stayed over to help finish cleaning then take us all out for dinner. Paige insisted on leaving but my grandparents are more stubborn. They wanted to take everyone that 'helped put together that awesome party' to be able to enjoy some food. So Paige ended up going and my dad didn't show up. He was out doing whatever he does on big important dates like this when everyone comes over. My grandparents took us to Golden Corral and we all got our fill of food. We had a fun time laughing and bringing back good memories. I really liked spending time with them since I don't get to see them as often as I would like. When we finally went home it was really sad to tell my grandparents good-bye for everyone. McKenzie was crying and Anna gave them each a hug and had to go out before she too broke down. I told the m how much I appreciated them and then they quickly left before it became more of a scene. They had decided to take Emily and McKenzie home with them in the end because they didn't have school and they didn't get to see them that much. They live about 3 hours north of us to they were going to have to drive them back but since it was my cousins birthday in three weeks they were going to have to come down anyways. So we packed up the girls and watched their happy faces as they left. Then my dad got home.

Short something

2008-02-17T09:23:00.001-08:00

All people talked about for that week was Paige, Ryan, Jake, and I. No one could believe that we had gotten to go to Lambournes with the most popular people (even though Paige was the most popular girl). On Tuesday we asked the guys out for a date (we thought it was our turn) for a trip up to the mountains so we could have a picnic and go on some hikes. On Saturday ( I had slept over at Paige's) we got up at 7 and went to the store and bought lots of trail mix, Gatorade, and some sandwich stuff. Then we went home and got ready for the long day ahead of us. On our way to Jake's (Ryan was there) we went and got a full tank of gas and then went and picked them up. The first thing we did was decide on what hikes we wanted to go on. We decided on a five mile one and it took us about 2 hours. Then we decided on a short one just before lunch. It took us to the beautiful waterfall where we ate our lunch. Then we went on the grand finale of a 15 mile hike! It was really fun full of narrow paths and beautiful trees, waterfalls, wildlife, and Native American drawings. By the time we were done it was five so we decided just to just go and pick up some fast food, since we were sweaty and tired. We went to Wendy's and got Frostys to cool us off. We dropped them off and then I dropped Paige off. We had taken my car since it would do the best in the mountains. Then I went home and took a nice bubble bath. Then I got in bed and texted Jake for awhile. When I woke up I hurried and got ready for church.
I went and sat by Paige then went home and did what I did everyday. Texted everyone. I couldn't wait, we didn't have school because tomorrow was the beginning of spring break! Our family was going to the Grand Canyon!

Chapter Nine

2008-02-16T13:28:00.000-08:00

That morning we woke up at 12:23 and the first thing we did was call up Jake and Ryan. The were eating lunch and waiting for us to get up. After I called my mom told me to get home right away. My dad was in a bad hang over and she needed me to take my sisters somewhere. So Paige and I drove home and got them and went on a little road trip to the park. Ryan and Jake were there and they were SO good with kids. Paige was a little suspicious of why I had to take my sisters and I knew it would only be a matter of time until she would have to find out. Boy was I right.
The next day at church Paige came up to me and insisted I told her what was going on right now! So we went on a ride after church and I told her everything. I had to let her drive because I was crying so bad but before long Paige couldn't take it anymore, pulled over, and let me cry on her shoulder.
“I can't believe you haven't told me this yet Sam!” Paige told me.
“I'm sorry I just hoped this would never come up and my dad would cure himself. I now see it's WAY out of hand and I will never keep anything anything from you anymore. I love having you as a friend.”
“From now on let's promise to keep 100% honesty. I know we already made this vow but this time we have to make it at 100 because I know you kept that from me and I've kept some things from you. I love you and if you ever need help I'm right here for you, Sam. Understand?”
“Mhmm. Should we go home now so that my mom doesn't get mad?” I asked
“Yes, text or call ANYTIME you need ANYTHING and I will believe you. We are friends remember?” She replied.
We drove home in silence and when I got home I went up and did my homework. At 5 I went down and played with McKenzie for awhile. Then I asked Rachel and Ana to go get in the showers and made dinner. At 6:30 we ate spaghetti and a green salad and I put McKenzie in the tub while Ana and Rachel got ready for bed. When everyone was in bed, including Emily, my mom told me thank-you and I went to bed.

ChApTeR 8

2008-02-16T13:00:00.000-08:00

“Welcome to Lambournes! If you would kindly wait until we have a seat ready on the couch we would appreciate it.”
“Oh, we have a reservation” Jake said.
“Oh, that changes everything. What's your last name?”
“Johanson”
“Okay I see you have a reservation in the private room. Seating for four. Is that correct?”
“Yes sir.”
“Follow me then.”
We walked back into a room that I didn't even know they had there. When we walked in it was like walking into heaven. It was filled with the best smelling smells and had a soft sound of music playing. The chairs were lined in red velvet and the wood was a dark cherry. It had the best china and there was our menus waiting for us. The cheapest thing on there was a side salad, FOR $10! I couldn't believe it.
A couple of minutes later the waitress came to take our drink orders. Diet Coke (Paige), Dr. Pepper (Ryan), and pink lemonade for Jake and I. We don't like to drink caffeine. When she brought us our drink she asked us if we were ready.
“I'll take some clam chowder and saltines” Paige said.
“I'll take some chicken alfredo and a bread stick.” I replied.
The guys ordered a steak (medium rare, Ryan, well done, Jake). We also all got a large order of coconut shrimp to share. During dinner it was one of my most memorable things that have happened in my life. We talked about school and our favorite movies, actors/esses, songs, and anything under the sun. When we were done with our food we ordered a strawberry cheesecake and went to the deck to eat it. Oh one thing I forgot to mention is that Lambournes is on a boat. After we were done we went to go pay the bill. Paige and I offered to pay but the guys refused to take money so we ran out before we could realize how much money it cost. On our way home we decided to go change into some jeans and go to a park. So we took turns going home and changing and went to the local park. We ran around on the playground being kids then we hopped on the swings and talked for about 30 minutes. Then my mom called and told me that I needed to go home. I asked her if I could sleepover at Paige's and she said as long as the guys didn't stay there. So we laid down and watched the stars for awhile and they took us home. But the date didn't stop there. For the rest of the night we were texting each other and thanking each other for such a wonderful night. When I finally fell asleep it was 4 a.m. Jake had said he wouldn't go to sleep until he knew I was and I had said the same thing so Paige and Ryan were asleep and when I finally went down he texted me one final time and said “I love you”. And we ended at that. That was the best “goodnight” I had ever gotten.

chapter 7 1/2

2008-02-12T13:45:00.001-08:00

When I woke up I was surrounded by my mother, holding Emily, Paige, and my sisters except for McKenzie who was sleeping. I was glad that my mom had fixed up our house otherwise I probably would have gotten really hurt. What really embarrassed me though is that my mom was holding the note I got and asking “is this why you fainted”. I just about fainted again! Paige giggled and managed to get out a little “yes”. Okay that would have been my third fainting. I was so embarrassed I grabbed the note and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I took a LONG bubble bath and cried for sadness, anger, joy, and embarrassment. I later found out that Paige had texted me while watching me through my window and when she saw me faint she ran inside and told my mom. When I came out everyone was sitting at the table drinking Kool-Aid and eating chocolate chip cookies. I told everyone that they weren't to talk about this to anyone else for the rest of my life. After that Paige and I went to the movies. My mom told me to hurry because I still had homework and tomorrow was a school day. We went to a dumb kid story because there was nothing on. Then I saw Jake. I had to run to the girls room I just DIDN'T want to face him yet. When I got out there he was waiting for me with Paige. Oh I was going to kick her hiney for not sending him away!
“Hey Samantha what's up?” Jake asked.
“Uhm, hi nothing”
“So who'd have thought that you'd actually be here at the movies today stuck watching a lame kid show...huh?”
“Well I know Paige texted you and said we would be here.”
“Well okay she did but still, how was your Valentines day and birthday? Did your special someone ask you out.”
“Hmmmm. Well I'd rather not share my personal life with you right now.”
“So what do you say? Will you go out with me on Friday night. I already have the reservations and Paige is coming too. She is going to come on a double date with us. Her birthday is almost here so her parents said since it's so close she could come. She's going with Ryan.”
“Hmm I'll talk to my mom and I will let you know sometime tomorrow.”“Oh that's okay Sam, I've already asked your mom and you can come!” Paige butted in. That's one thing I hate about her is she can't keep her mouth to herself. “Well I guess I'll see you there! What time are we meeting?”
“Well our reservations are at 6 so maybe 5 so we can be there a little early and make it to the hill.”
“YOUR TAKING ME TO LAMBOURNES?” I screamed probably too loudly.
“Oh yeah I thought you knew, anyways I'll see you later. Glad we are officially going out I have been just counting down the days until you turned 16.” The rest of the week couldn't have gone slower. I was SO excited for our double date. Most of the week was spent at malls trying to figure out what to wear. Paige took me and paid for it which was so very nice of her. On Friday I checked out and started getting ready at 12. I started by taking a shower. Then when I got out I carefully put each hair into a curler. Then I blow dried it and pulled it up into a messy half bun. Then I carefully put on my lavender dress I had picked. Then I put on my make up and sprayed sparkles in my hair and lightly on my face. Then I used some of my mom's perfume she said I could borrow, put on my silver shoes, and got ready for my first date. At exactly 5 Jake, Ryan, and Paige came by and got me and we were on our way to Lambournes.

Chapter seven

2008-02-04T17:29:00.001-08:00

Today is my birthday!!! I'm now 16. My *sweet* sixteen isn't happening. I'm not getting a party. With my dad spending thousands of dollars a year on alcohol we don't have money for a big party. So Paige took me to the spa for a pedicure, manicure, back massage and a tanning session, which was really nice of her. We had lots of fun hanging out and laughing. I have really grown to love her and I don't know what I would do without her. She has been my rock to hold on to when the going gets tough. When I got home my mom told me that we were going to go take my drivers test...which I passed!!!! She said she would give me $100 for gas, which was my birthday present, and then for the rest of my life I was responsible for paying for it. I also got a car from my mom's side of the family. I guess they all pitched in money to pay for it which was really nice. Well my mom has 8 brothers and sisters that helped, then my grandparents and mom pitched in and then I gave the rest. It costs $34,900. It is a silver Toyota Sequoia with black insides. They got me such an expensive car so that I could take around my family in it. It will kind of serve as a family car but it will be mostly mine. That night Paige came over and we went up to her cabin in Salt Lake City. It was really nice. The next day we we drove home and went to church on Sunday. On Monday when I went to school I got the biggest surprise. Our school was celebrating Valentines on Monday the 17th because we didn't have school on the 14th, for my birthday...YES! because there was a Quality Teaching Day. Well I got a note in my backpack that I didn't notice until I got home. Paige texted me and told me it was there and some “certain someone” had stuck it there. I had no idea what she meant but I opened it. The note said something so unexpected I fainted. When I woke up I was on my bed and Paige was giggling.

Chapter SIX

2008-01-31T14:56:00.000-08:00

Apparently my sister McKenzie had 'fallen off our counter' and she had a broken leg and a couple broken ribs. As soon as I had comforted her and she had gone I went and talked to my mom about what happened. I guess what had happened is my dad had come home drunk-no surprise there-and my sister told him 'she dint wike 'im wike dat'. He got mad and pushed her into the wall, breaking her leg. He of course was sorry after but that didn't take away from what had happened. My mom was getting scareder by the minute. This was too much. I called Paige and told her that my siblings, mom, and I needed to go to a hotel because the house was too sad without McKenzie. I guess she got the point and offered to pay for our hotel and come with us. Now just if your wondering that's NOT what I was looking for but Paige is always nice like that. So we picked her up at 7 and we all went to this nice hotel. We got a nice hotel room that's like a house so that my mom had a room, we had a room, and my siblings had a room. Plus a kitchen and front room. “So where's McKenzie, why is she in the hospital?” Paige asked.
CRAP! I had forgotten to tell my sisters not to tell her.
“Daddy set her on the counter and she fell off.” Rachel said.
PHEW! Apparently she wasn't there and didn't know the whole story.
“That's too bad.” Rachel replied.
The rest of the weekend was just spent going to church and hanging out as a family. Paige went home that Sunday morning because we aren't aloud to play on Sundays, however we saw each other at church. At 6 o'clock that night we got ready to go. When we got home my dad wasn't there and that was good. We had a light dinner, tomato soup and grilled cheese. I got the girls bathed and put everyone to bed while my mom tried to tidy up some more. As I was going to bed I was thinking about if I was in my mom's situation what I'd do. I honestly have no idea!!!! I just hope I never get in this situation when I get older. I drifted off to sleep and woke up at 6:14. I had some eggs and toast and my dad was in one of his hang overs watching T.V. I quickly and quietly walked toward the door and waited for Paige to come pick me up. Another thing about Paige is she knows she's not supposed to 'go out' with anyone until she is 16, so we are practically the only singles in our school. Oh, except Jake. Apparently he is waiting for that special someone. Everyone knows that's Paige and we are just waiting for her to turn 16. However, Paige likes to deny this. She claims they are just friends and so I believe her. We are always 100% honest like I told you so I'm not going to keep thinking she's lying.
School was pretty boring to say the least. I had regular assignments and I did my homework, chores, and check my emails. All I had gotten were those really lame dumb ones that mean nothing. So I had an early dinner and took a shower, wrote in my diary, and went to bed.

Chapter Five

2008-01-30T20:29:00.001-08:00

7:15. UGH! I'm late. My bus comes at 7:25. I hurried and got ready and my mom was sitting on the couch. She told me she had a hard night and she was trying to figure out what to do. She didn't want us to keep hurting but no one would believe us. We talked about our options. When I looked at the clock it was 8. CRAP! I was WAY late. I told my mom I had to go get ready but she just said, “Don't worry about going to school today, honey.” So I was home all day helping my mom with the kids while she got some well needed rest. All day I was texted by Paige and we still planned on having a sleepover that night. She told me she had rented a couple of videos and that we could order a pizza, dessert, a midnight snacks, and a breakfast (using her dad's credit card of course). Another thing about Paige is even though we confide in everything to each other she doesn't know about my dad. My mom doesn't think it would be smart and I don't want to ruin my relationship with her.
“How about we prank call Jake?” Paige asked me as we were eating pizza.
“No! He has caller id I bet and that would be totally embarrassing!” I replied back.
“I dare you.”
“NOOOO WAY.”
“Fine you asked for it! I triple dog, pinky swear, mocha times 100 dare you.”
Oh no I had asked for it. We knew that as long as it wasn't dangerous we always had to do that dare. You just don't mocha times 100 if you weren't serious.
“Fine, but I don't have his number”
“Not too hard, I have it in my phone.”
So I ended up calling him.
“Hello” he said in his wonderfully handsome voice.
“Hello, this is Temmy” I said in an Indian accent.
“Uhm, do I know you”
“No, I'm from India. My friend told me you were really cute and I just wanted to say 'hi'.”
“Cool, who's your friend.”
Hmmmm what should I say?
“Oh, she wants to be kept confidential.”
“Paige and Samantha Faith come down here please.”
CRAP!
We hurried and hung up the phone and hoped he hadn't heard that.
(Just to tell you something I really HATE my name Alison is just so bland. Faith is too but at least it has some meaning in it. Alison and Faith are my grandma's. Alison is my dad's mom and she is 1,000 times raunchier than my dad. Ugh. So long story short I haven't seen her since I was 4 and she hasn't met any of my siblings. She still calls my dad from time to time but I always make sure I'm gone when she calls.)
“I need you to go walk my beautiful dog, I just got a manicure and pedicure and I don't want it to be wasted on a walk when I have a treadmill right here. And it's sooo cold outside I get goosebumps when I walk outside and you know how bad that is for your skin and hair. Here is little Puggy and I want you to make sure she keeps her sweater on and her boots don't fall off.”
Paige and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes, and put on our shoes. We aren't aloud to wear them in the house because they just got new carpets. I don't see what the big deal is though because they get new ones every year.
“So how is your life, Samantha?”
“Okay, why do you ask?”
“You just seem kind of distant from me and I want to make sure you're okay. You remember the vow we gave each other about being 100% honest.”
“I know, there's nothing wrong.”
I am a terrible liar. We always know if we aren't honest with each other but she was good enough to drop it. We walked for about 45 minutes and went home to eat some ice-cream. We decided to tell watch a classic, Miss Congeniality and then went upstairs and laid out on her California King bed and told scary stories. Finally we drifted off to sleep at 4 o'clock. We slept in until 1:30 then got up, had a picnic and decided to go see a movie. We were gone all day and finally I had an urge to turn on my phone. What I found shocked me. I had voice mails and texts, half of which were from my mom, telling me to get home now and that it was URGENT! She didn't say that word unless so really meant it so I told Paige to have her chauffeur take me home. What I saw shocked me, there was ambulances all over.

Chapter Four

2008-01-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

Everything was pushed onto the floor. The cupboards were bare and you couldn't walk on the floor without fear of stepping on glass. My mom was devastated and couldn't believe what had happened. On the table was a suicide note from my dad saying “He couldn't believe that we, his family, would do that to him and that we should be ashamed of ourselves. If we ever wanted to see him he would be on the bridge.” Great. I couldn't tell you how many times we have had that suicide crap from him. Still my mom thought she had better go talk it over with him and told me to get the girls in bed. So I did. But I didn't go to bed until she got home, which turned out to be at 3 o'clock at night.
“Oh, your still up?” She said. She had tear marks and looked like she had had a long tiring day. I felt bad for her, I really did.
“Where's dad?”
“He wasn't there.”
“Oh, weird. Well I was wondering if Paige and I could have a sleepover tomorrow night. I can go to her house. I know how this house is a mess and you wouldn't want someone over here.” Here's another thing. It's an unknown rule that we don't ever talk about my dad out loud.
“Sure honey, and thanks for trying to clean up the house. I really appreciate it. I will probably be asleep when you go to school so have a nice day”.
“Thanks mom” I said and went upstairs to go to sleep.

Chapter Three

2008-01-30T15:47:00.000-08:00

“Why in the heck are you making freaking brownies in my house” my dad yelled.
“I was trying to surprise you” my mom said calmly back.
“Well I don't care I want you to go throw those out.”
“I'm sorry.”
I followed my mom out and she started crying. I could tell she was really miserable but what else can I do than be supportive of her. I can't make my dad stop and I can't file the divorce for her. I just wish I could have this all stop.
“Rub my feet!” my dad yelled to me.
“Eww, no dad!” Let me tell you, a police officer gets pretty offensive feet most of the time!
“I told you to rub my feet.”
“Dad, no please.”
“Okay, fine do what you want.”
Before I had time to react he had grabbed me and started smacking and punching me. I was terrified. He usually is pretty bad but I think this is one of the worst times. He picked me up and threw me in my room. My mom and sisters were watching this the entire time and my mom came and bit him on his neck. Well let me tell you this was a BAD idea. He went and shoved her into the wall and said if she ever did that again he was get his gun. My sisters were crying. My mom told my dad that she was going to leave with us for awhile and not to worry. So we hurry and got our coats and hats on and went to play at the park. Oh another thing you should know about me is that I have a sister named Rachel who is 6 and a sister named Ana who is 9. Anyways now that we have gotten that out of the way.
We played for about 3 hours then my mom took us to Wendy's and we all got a baked potato and chili. Mmm Mmm. We wasted as much time as we could and then my mom took us home. Luckily my dad was gone. But when we walked in we couldn't believe what we saw.

Chapter Two

2008-01-30T15:13:00.000-08:00

First Period-Science
“Oh my gosh! You should see Jake today!” I told my BEST friend, Paige. “His hair is so slick!”
“I know!” Paige said. “We should totally go talk to him.”
“Laugh out loud, YEAH RIGHT!” Now let me tell you something. Paige is one of the most popular girls in school. She is the girl everyone wants to be friends with. It wasn't always that way though. When she was in Kindergarten we were both like the 'outcasts' and no one wanted to be seen with us. Her dad had an amazing idea to start a business called Apple, which no one liked and put them in $1,000,000 in debt. However, her dad has come ALONG way and now they are way rich. Of course, Paige never forgot how we would stay up together all night on Friday's and how we would go to every movie that came out. So we are still close as porcupines on a log. Okay maybe that wasn't they best analogy. Porcupines don't like each other I don't think. Well anyways we are close, oh! As a bug in a rug.
“Class sit down” my dumb teacher, Mr. Halse said.
“Today we are going to learn about why the digestive system is crucial for our bodies to survive.” We watched the most disgusting movie where it showed everything about the digestive system. YUCK! The people in the movie played with the digested stuff too! Luckily the bell rang and I ran out of that class.
Second/Third Period-English
We worked on our research papers and that's about it. Pretty boring if I do say so myself. Anyways that's all we did but I messed around with Paige, texting back and forth from across the room.
Fourth Period-Health
I'm not even going to explain what we did!
Fifth-Math
We learned about measurement which I thought was pretty stupid considering I learned that in 3rd grade. BUT OH MY GOSH! JAKE SAID WHAT'S UP TO ME! I was so excited I didn't get anything out though, so he said “Right” and walked off. Oh well at least he said something
Lunch
I ate a salad with bacon bits. The rest of the day nothing really happened OH! Except my big test! Which turned out to be a made up story that was meant to get us scared. Stupid science teacher!
“Mom, I'm home” I yelled. A sweet smell wafted through the house. My mom was actually making brownies! MMMM.
“Mom, why are you making brownies? They smell delicious!”
“Oh, no reason. I just felt like I want to do something nice for my wonderful kids.”
Sure whatever mom. You never do that. Well I guess I will find out sooner or later.
The time we all dread came, when my dad is expected home. My dad is verbally and physically abusive. However, no one believes us and my dad says that if my mom files for a divorce then he will come track us down and kill us. One problem. Our dad is the Police Chief so of course if we tell anyone about his threats they just go “Oh he is a cop he would never do that”. Which makes my mom heart broken and keeps us with this bad guy.
So at 6 o'clock when he turned up it really scared us when he showed up drunk, smelly like stale cigarette smoke.

Chapter One

2008-01-30T14:19:00.000-08:00

I was sitting on my big ugly puke green couch thinking about all that happened that past year.
“Samantha Alison Faith Edmund, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE”
Here we go again, Moms going all out with her crazy traditions we HAVE to keep every year. I mean big deal. It's New Years Eve. Not like anything exciting is going to happen this year anyways. Except maybe that I'm turning 16! I slowly moseyed my way down the stairs. No surprise there. My Mom is sitting around eating her heart out with chips and dip. My siblings all look like they'd rather be somewhere else. “Pull out a board game, honey” my mom asked. Now let me just tell you something. One thing I REALLY hate is board games, and my mom knows this. So I choose a family favorite, Life. I ended up being the most successful.
“Holy Cow! Look at what time it is!” screamed mom which made our goldfish jump out of their tank. 11:59.
“Hurry get the remote turn it to Channel Two! HURRY HURRY HURRY!”
“Mom if you just shut up maybe we would have a chance to find the remote!” I yelled back.
We got the T.V. on just in time for the 5....4....3...2....1 part. Wow, Whoop De Do. We got to see the ball drop. This night was as exciting as watching a plant grow. I told my mom goodnight and went to bed.
New Years Day was about as fun as cleaning public toilets. All day I just watched T.V. appreciating the holidays. But I didn't get a single call from any of my friends. So I ended up just going to sleep at 7 hoping to get some good sleep for my first day back.
I heard screaming. That's not good. I bounced up and ran downstairs. The baby is crying and my mom is gone. I looked around, her keys, purse, and car was gone. Great. Mom decided to do her vanishing act tonight of all nights when tomorrow is a big important test. Yeah, I know its really stupid that I have a big test on the day back but my teacher wanted to make sure we had “gotten enough sleep, kept reading, studied, and ate good breakfasts” while we were on vacation. So I hurried up and made the baby a bottle hoping to save the other kids from waking up. Too late.
McKenzie, who is 3, was already up. She came and told me she loved me and asked where mommy was. I told her that she had to go get us some milk and for her to go back to sleep. She cuddled up to me and snored. No matter how mad I was I always got really comforted when I heard the soft breathing of kids. The baby, (whose name is Emily), feel asleep and I laid her down. I called my Mom's cell phone. She answered.
“Hey, mom where are you?”
“Is anything wrong!”
“No, just the baby was screaming and I woke up and I have an important test and I'm worried about you”
“Oh”
“So where are you?”
“I'm sorry I didn't think the baby would wake up. I just went on a little ride. I'm just around the corner. I will be home in about fifteen minutes.”
I put the Emily in her crib, picked up McKenzie and put her in her bed, and carried myself to my bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

Hey

2008-01-30T14:18:00.000-08:00

I'm writing a story, as you can tell. If you have an suggestions or edits they would be much appreciated! Thanks! Just leave a comment. You guys are great and thanks for reading.