Another Chapter

The first year was the roughest time of my life. Paige had left to Yale, my mom was really weak going through chemotherapy, and Jake was gone. We faithfully wrote each other once a month but it was still really challenging for me to keep trucking on. It was really hard on the anniversary of Anna and McKenzie's death. Emily was in kindergarten also and it was hard keeping up with her homework with her. I had a part time job at the local Wal Mart but I was also going to school to become a nurse.
I felt like I was never going to get anywhere. I felt like a mother taking care of her children and her sickly mother. I couldn't handle school. I was going to drop out. I needed more money and had no idea how I was going to get it. Jake wasn't writing me that much and I was getting depressed. Paige was so busy at school and doing extracurriculars that I had no idea who I could talk to. My mom was leaving me and I didn't know what would happen to Emily. So much worry for such a young 20 year old person. I got home that day to check the mail. I HAD A LETTER FROM JAKE!!!!


Dear Love,
I'm sorry I haven't been writing you. I have been very busy with a family who are really wondering about the gospel and I'm pretty sure they are going to get baptized. It's really hard in these harsh temperatures. It's really hot and it seems like I'm always outside here in Africa. However, I know Heavenly Father will get me through this okay. I found this poem that is simple and sweet and I hope you will remember it

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in it's womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

Sheelagh Lennon


I love you sweetheart. I have a year and I count down the days. I want you to know that it's making it really hard on me to stay here while you are all the way across the world. This will be the last letter I write to you and I hope you will do the same. I love you so much and don't lose trust in me. In about 10 months I will write you and we can talk about my homecoming. Don't worry about me I'm trying to make this better for everyone. You are wonderful and take care of everyone there. Talk to my parents if you ever need any comfort from me.

Love Always,

Jake

I felt like my heart was going to burst. This couldn't be happening. We promised to write every week and now I was going to be stuck without him. I wasn't going to cope with him let alone without him...
When I got home I had just enough time to make some chocolate chip cookies before Emily got home. Hopefully those would make me feel better and I could put on a happy face for tonight. Emily got home as the timer beeped. We ate them (all) warm and then got in routine. She did her homework, occasionally asking question as I prepared dinner. Then we went and met Mother outside when she got dropped off from being at the hospital.
We ate dinner with the now and then conversation and laughs. We (Emily and I) would then do the dishes and put up dinner while Mother watched with sorry eyes. Emily then had her free time to watch television while I helped Mother clean up and get in her bed. Then onto Emily. Once I got her in bed I had time to do my homework. I noticed I was a little ahead of schedule, it was 8:00 instead of 8:30, so I decided to go on a short walk after making sure they were asleep.
It was a quiet walk which I really enjoyed. It was nice to get out and be able to think a little. I thought about the days events and how I was going to deal with Jake ditching me. I was really lucky he didn't break up with me and that he actually sent me a letter. Why was I making such a big deal out of it? I would see him in a little less than a year. At that thought I broke down and started to cry. I about jumped out of my pants when someone touched my back.